Goodbye, Instagram
For a long time now, I’ve been really very unhappy on Instagram.
It began with Meta’s other product – Facebook. I’ve always had a love/hate thing for that place. For a year and a half, I had it deleted off my phone between 2007 and 2009. I only signed up again when a close friend of mine said she only communicated via messenger. Despite having deleted it entirely, when I created a new account using the same email, literally everything was where I’d left it. I’ll never forget that sickening feeling of not being in control of a) my own decision to not be on there and b) my information.
Netflix documentary The Social Dilemma further confirmed for me the feeling that Facebook is a manipulative place. For years, I’d felt very acutely that something was off when I posted certain statuses. Anything vulnerable didn’t reach many people, leading me to feel exposed and abandoned. And that felt deliberate. Anyone who’s seen said documentary knows that that’s exactly what it was. Please do go and watch it – it’s galling what goes on.
And so Facebook is now deleted off my phone most of the time, and I open it once a week, at most, to check in on groups I’m in such as SEND ones and the children’s school groups.
Where sameness is rewarded and individuality is penalised is not the world for me…
Over on Instagram, it’s a similar thing – so few people now see what I post and that makes me feel guilty for people who’ve paid for social media shout-outs, and also like I’m a talentless piece of shit who no one likes. Neither of these things is acceptable. I don't want to make video or reels. It’s just beyond my skillset. I’m a writer at heart. A writer trying to reach people on a platform that changes the rules on its users so often that it feels like an abusive piss take. Why can’t we celebrate all forms of creation on there?? Where’s the variety now? It rewards sameness these days. Trending audio, in particular, annoys me – I like to pick out songs that match what I’m saying in the post, or even just songs I’m into at that moment!! When I watched Hannibal on Netflix, I added the Siouxsie song Lovecrime to a post simply because I was obsessed with it and the scene it appeared in. Why can’t I do that? That’s my little contribution to life. A quirky part of me and how I move in the world that makes me ME. I don’t want to shoehorn in Running Up That Hill into a post it adds nothing to, nor have it ruined for me simply because everyone and their shadow is using it on their posts and I hear that disembodied clip 20 times in a fucking row.
Ownership over borrowed real estate with a dodgy landlord…
I’m one of a growing number of people going back to the ownership nature of DVDs, cassettes, CDs, vinyl, books, magazines (obvs!), and my marketing will follow a similar path. The community feel I once enjoyed and felt safe in on Twitter (Wedding Wednesdays, anyone!), Facebook groups and on Instagram is no more. The algorithm sees to it that you’re no longer a guaranteed part of something you thought you were, and proves time and again that you’re on borrowed time and shaky ground as far as belonging is concerned. I don’t run my magazine for profit, so a community built on Mighty Networks or Circle is out of my budget and therefore not an option, and so my newsletter will be the place I build a community thoughtfully around me now.
What the newsletter will look like…
I don’t want it to become one of those ‘here is a story about something random and here’s what it taught me about xyz’. I know lots of people love that, but I can’t bear it. It’s everywhere and has always turned me off. It feels so disingenuous, and I suspect that many a time the story isn’t entirely true (if at all), and has been embellished or manufactured to fit the denouement of the thing and get the sale. I don’t think this of everyone using this technique, but you can see how it’s vulnerable to being used by unscrupulous types in this way. My newsletters will be mainly:
Here are my thoughts about something in the wedding world
My magazine is at xyz stage – here’s a peek behind the scenes
Here’s what’s coming up in the new issue and you can buy it here
Fully transparent shout-outs for my advertisers and paid contributors
Call-outs for content for upcoming issues
Here’s what’s on the blog
Recommendations from my personal world of music, books, TV shows, films, clothes, etc.
Little shout-out to my Indie Publishers Club world so if you want to fully nerd on out about print media, take my hand and join us there!
I just want to chat to people again and for us to find joy in our common interests together. I want to be in control of how I present my thoughts to the world and guarantee that I reach people who want to hear from me. I don’t want to lose my uniqueness down the toilet Meta, Twitter, et al are disappearing into. I also don’t want to prop up unethical billionaires, if I can help it. My brand is a mindful one that tries to give back, and to contribute rather than exploit and take. I can’t, with good conscience, use platforms that make me complicit in their harm of humankind any longer.
A final note before I close the doors on Instagram and enter into dormancy: I’ve built up 9K+ followers and so I’ll be occasionally posting simple ‘come and join the newsletter community’ posts, and doing direct DMs outreach to make sure people can still find me. But other than that, the Dream Lovers Weddings (formerly Way Out Wedding) Instagram account will be inactive and just a tool for redirection to a more peaceful and fair place. I would love to see you there so please do sign up!
